Christmas Puddin'
by Mabel Madness
Summary: Festive mini story based on the Ayer-verse Joker and Harley Quinn. Joker hates Christmas and Harley is suffering the consequences... With such little time left, can she change his mind? Not related to any of my other long running fics! Rated M for language, violence and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello Everyone!**

 **So, this was meant to be a one-shot, but I got carried away slightly... Oh well, hopefully it's a bearable read. This will only be a mini chaptered story, not my usual 30 page rambles! I just wanted to give you guys something festive, to thank you for all the love and support you've given me since I started publishing on here. It means the world to me!**

* * *

 **Chapter 1.**

Harley was standing on the balcony of their newly acquired penthouse. It was 3am in the morning on December the 24th.

She was staring out at the black blanket that had surrounded Gotham. Street lights flickered under the weather's spell and the stars shone brightly above the cold sky. It was the night before Christmas, but Harley wasn't feeling very festive. She loved this holiday since she was a child... Gingerbread hot chocolate, roaring fires and of course being surrounded by loved ones and presents. But this year was going to be slightly different, well... More like non existent.

The Joker hated this time of year. Harley thought that maybe it was because he never had Christmas as a child, or that he never even remembered it. Either way, everyone suffered because of his foul mood.

Harley ran her fingers across the metal railing that kept her safely above the mortals who were sleeping below. She was wearing her red silk bathrobe and nothing else. The bitter cold air whipped around her ankles and danced along the soft fabric that loosely clung to her body.

A deep sigh left her swollen lips as she closed her eyes and inhaled the musky air.

"What are you doing out here?" A deep rich voice came from the balcony windows. Harley smiled when she heard it, and couldn't help but bite her lip.

"Breathing." She replied softly.

Harley gasped when she felt warm hands wrap around her waist. "It's cold." He muttered. "You're cold."

"Is that a compliment?" Harley giggled as she felt his bare torso press against her back. She ran her equally cold hands along his arms and leant back into his body, feeling his heartbeat hammer against her.

"It's a fact." He growled. "Come back to bed."

"I will Puddin', I just want to stay out here for a while.. It's nice, beautiful." Harley dropped her head back onto his shoulder and looked up at him. His hair was messy and sticking out in all different directions. She loved it when he looked like that, all unruly and slightly vulnerable.

J's tired eyes locked onto hers. "Did I not tire you out earlier?" He purred, sliding his right hand across the knot that was keeping her robe closed.

"Yes." She moaned. "Yes, you did Daddy."

"Then come back to bed. You're causing a draft and I wanna sleep." J went to kiss her gently on the neck, but instead his mouth broke out into one of his kitten like yawns.

"You go," Harley suggested, smiling like a fool at his cuteness. "Shut the door and ya' won't get chilly."

Joker growled angrily. "What part of come back to bed is your empty, blonde head not understanding?"

His grip around her waist tightened. "Okay, okay." She sighed, twisting in his arms to face him. She placed her cold hands either side of his white skin. "I'm coming."

With the moon reflecting off his face, she stared into his dusty blue eyes for a moment. Her heart began to beat rapidly, hammering against her chest, which was now pressed against his.

" _Who needs Christmas?_ " She thought to herself before she stole a kiss from his crimson lips.

Joker's arms tightened around her further, crushing her small athletic body against his. His tongue dived into her mouth, giving her the heat that her body craved so much.

"C'mon." He said, pulling away. He opened up the balcony doors and waited for Harley to slip through the doorway, he wanted to make sure that she was going to do as she was told.

The warmth from the bedroom made her skin rise into goosebumps. She giggled when she felt his hands rapidly rub her arms up and down, trying to get her to reach normal body temperature.

"What in God's name possessed you to go stargazing at this time?" He asked, still with a slight angry tone.

Harley shrugged. "I was thinking."

"About?"

"You..." Harley said slowly. "You, and Christmas."

Joker rolled his eyes and moved away form her. "How many times do I have to go over this for your tiny brain to understand... We. Are. Not celebrating Christmas!"

Harley threw her hands up in the air frustrated. "The only thing I don't understand is why! Pud, it's my favourite holiday... I love Christmas."

J threw himself onto the bed and shuffled underneath the covers. "Christmas is a commercialised holiday that causes people to go gaga over tinsel. The mindless, braindead public will spend their years fortune on plastic crap imported from China. I have not, and will not be apart of the system. They try and defend themselves by said that it's all about the 'family getting together, spreading love and cherishing one another's company.'" He mocked. "It's bullshit. And I will not become a slave to popularity, and if you wanna remain my Pumpkin pie, you won't either."

Harley pouted and folded her arms across her chest. "Can I at least put up a Christmas tree? Just a little one? It's our first Christmas together..."

"Are you deaf?" He snapped, glaring at her. "I've thought about dumping you for much less Harl, don't push me."

Harley ignored him and continued her argument. "We don't have to have the tacky kinda Christmas you see on movies... It can just be you, me and the boys, watching Charlie Chaplin with a nice tree in the room."

"No."

"I could make some cookies.. I know how you like cookies. Oh! I could get some Port and we can have a cheese board!" She suggested. "It doesn't have to be over the top, just something nice. It would mean so much to me Puddin'."

Joker groaned. "You're this close Harley," He said holding up his hand, hovering his index finger over his thumb. "This close to getting on my last nerve."

She sighed, "Okay Puddin'." Harley slipped off her robe and shuffled into bed.

Joker switched off the bedside lamp and moved up beside her. "Aren't I gift enough for you?"

"Of course you are, you big dummy." Harley giggled. Turning to face him, she fluttered her now warm fingers over his 'J' tattoo. "I just wanted us to do something special. I wanted to spoil you."

Joker grunted. "You should be doing that every day of the year, not just December 25th."

"But Pud-" Joker cut her off by placing his hand over her mouth.

"One more word and I'll cancel your Birthday too." He warned, sternly. Harley nodded and pulled herself away from him.

"Sorry Daddy." She whispered.

"Good girl. Now, be quiet, go to sleep and stay put." J ordered, before turning over and hooking his arm under his pillow.

Harley flopped onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. There was no way she was going to surrender to the fact of no Christmas this year. Even if it meant strapping him to the dining room chair and feeding him turkey with her bare hands...


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2.**

The next morning came around sooner than the two Clowns had expected. The sun was streaming through the window and casted dappled shadows on their intertwined bodies.

The Joker groaned. "Shut the damn curtains." He mumbled, smacking his lips together in sleep.

Harley groaned and shuffled closer to his warm body. "You were the last one out the door last night, you shut it."

"You opened it in the first place." He argued back.

"You're closer." She mumbled, breaking into a yawn.

"You're awake-r."

"You're the eldest, you do it." Harley quipped back.

There was a moment of silence before the Joker broke it. "If you do it, I might consider Christmas..."

Harley shot out of the bed faster than you could say 'Puddin'. She leapt over the Joker and snapped the curtains shut.

She walked over to the bed post and pulled her robe on. "Thought about it yet?" She asked, tying the middle of her robe in a knot.

Joker rolled onto his chest and spread his whole body across her side, preventing her from re- entering the bed. "Coffee." He breathed into the pillow.

Harley rolled her eyes. "Short Black?" She asked rhetorically. "I'll let the boys out too."

She stretched her body, allowing a few bones to crack under the strain. Harley ran her fingers through her tousled hair and made her way down to the kitchen.

"Babies?!" She called. Harley didn't even make it halfway down stairs before she was suddenly pounced on by two fluffy beasts. "Awh, you missed mummy?" She giggled.

Two massive tongues swiped her face repeatedly, leaving a trial of thick saliva across her cheeks. "Yes you did, oh you did." She cooed in a baby voice. "Who's my good boys? Who's mummy's good boys? You are! Yes you are!"

Bud and Lou were now coming up to a year old, they were growing their distinctive coats and their teeth were becoming more of a prominent feature than ever before. But to Harley Quinn, they were still her cutesy, cuddle little babies.

"Shut the hell up!" Joker shouted from upstairs.

Harley laughed and turned to her head back to her boys. "Shhh... We gotta keep it down fellas or Daddy will get mad."

They winded slightly at her, but continued to wag their tales.

"C'mon boys, let's get ya' breakfast." She gently moved the pups away from her and walked into the kitchen. "Who's up for grub?" She asked.

Harley opened up the fridge and pulled out two large slabs of meat.

"Sit." She command, waving the blood covered food in front of their faces. They obeyed and plonked there bodies onto the cool kitchen tile.

"Good boys!" Harley threw the meat, landing directly into their mouths. While they ate Harley switched on the espresso machine and leant up against the counter.

"Daddy says we can't have a Christmas, but I'll change his mind babies, don't you worry." She explained. "We just gotta convince him... And I know just how to do it!"

Harley patted them gently on the head and poured two cups of coffee, once she was done, she gingerly made her way up to the bedroom, trying not to attract the attention of the Hyenas.

Joker had banned them from the boudoir, mainly because whenever he tried to get fresh with Harley, they would try and snap his hands off. They were very protective of her and in their eyes, Harley was the alpha. In the animal kingdom, female Hyenas ruled the clan. So naturally, to the babies, Harley was the Boss in the house, which also meant that the Joker was below her in the hierarchy... Which did not please him at all, not one bit.

On more than one occasion he had thought about killing them or even dumping them off at the local zoo, but he knew that Harley would do her nut and probably kill him in return.

"I got ya' cup of souls Pud." Harley chirped, heading back into the room. When she entered, she heard the shower running. Harley placed the cups down on the bedside table and took this opportunity to do a tiny bit of online shopping. Joker wouldn't be able to stop her from celebrating Christmas if the house was full of decorations, now would he?

She grabbed the tablet and fired up the internet. The convenience of online browsing was both a blessing and a curse. The blessing being, shopping in her Pj's without judgment and the curse being what came out of the Joker's mouth when he saw the bill to his account.

"Add to basket, add to basket, add, add, add." She muttered to herself as her finger kept tapping away at the screen.

The shower abruptly switched off and the sound of running water was a distant memory. Without Harley even noticing, the Joker was now standing in the bathroom door way, with a wet towel clinging desperately to his waist. He folded his arms across his damp chest and watched her like a hawk.

"Checkout!" She giggled, clicking the payment button.

"Checkout what?" The Joker growled, his gaze burning into hers.

Harley jumped out of her skin and quickly hid the tablet, hoping that he hadn't been watching her for too long. She composed herself and smiled sweetly back at him.

"Err... Checkout... You Pud.." Harley stuttered and rolled off the bed, she approached him, swaying her hips seductively. She bit her lip and ran her fingernails down his toned, wet chest. "You look... Hot."

Joker ginned and grabbed her wrists. "And you lookguilty."

"I don't know what you mean?" Harley said, faking innocence.

His eyes went dark suddenly. "Do you really think I was born yesterday? If you're doing what I think you're doing, then I suggest you stop. I will not be held accountable for my actions if you disobey me."

"I ain't done nothin' honest!" She cried in defence.

J pushed her to one side and marched towards the bed. "Let's take a look then shall we?" He pulled back the duvet covers to see the tablet.

Harley sprinted towards him and snatched the tablet back. "Don't Pud!" She begged.

He made another grab for it, but she hid it behind her back and gave him a threatening glare. "I'll call em'."

J dropped his hands and tensed his jaw. "Don't you dare."

"I will!" She shrieked. "Back away now, or I'll call the babies."

"Harley..." He growled.

She gasped, in preparation to shout, and held her mouth open. Joker raised his hands in defence and slowly backed away from her. "Easy Harl, I'm not gunna take your precious tablet."

Harley's face beamed with smugness. Using the Hyenas as a threat worked like a charm. She locked the tablet and placed it back down onto the bed and walked over to him.

He raised a cautious brow. "If I find out that you've brought more duck bath radios..."

Harley giggled. "It's just a new espresso machine Puddin', I broke it earlier and I knew you'd be mad."

"Mmmm... Why don't I believe you?" He asked, growling slightly.

"Because I'm cunning, clever and witty?" She grinned, placing her hands on his chest again.

"Nope, that's me. You're just annoying." He leant down to her ear and whispered. "And a tiny bit sexy."

"Tiny bit?" Harley pouted.

Joker's eyes went wide. "Did I say tiny bit?" He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her up against his still wet chest.

Harley squealed loudly and ran her fingers through his damp hair, feeling his lips bump hers gently. As soon as the high pitched noise erupted from her throat, the sound of 8 paws pounding up the stairs, made both the Joker and Harley pause for a moment.

She looked into his eyes, trying not to laugh. "Sorry Pud."

Bud and Lou busted down the bedroom door and made a break for the Joker. But before they could get to him, J pulled Harley in front of him.

"Morning boys." He smiled, using Harley as a human shield. "Now calm down... Your Mummy and I were just playing... Weren't we Honey?"

Harley could compress the giggle that slipped out of her mouth. "Yes Daddy." She crouched down to Bud and Lou and patted their heads. "Daddy likes to play with Mummy too, so you have to learn to share, Okay?"

They rubbed their heads against her hand and proceeded to lick her skin. Joker suddenly grabbed her by the wrist and hauled her to her feet. "I ain't sharing."

"You already are Pud." She quipped looking at the now growling pups.

After Harley finally managed to drag Bud and Lou out of the bedroom before things got nasty, the Joker slipped on one of his dark navy shirts and black slacks with gold trim. He slicked back his hair in the mirror and sucked his metal teeth.

Harley had skipped off downstairs, which suited him just fine. He had craftily managed to avoid the subject of Christmas so far, besides making the false promise this morning. He sighed, grabbing his jacket he made his way downstairs.

He heard light singing coming from the kitchen, stepping in he saw Harley, still wearing her silk gown, skipping around the tiled flooring, carrying pancake batter in a bowl.

"Got to step out for a few hours Harl." He told her, whilst narrowing his eyes at the seemingly perfect espresso machine.

"Okay Puddin'." Harley set the pancake mix down and approached him. She flattened the collar of his shirt down and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Have a good day. And don't lose your temper at the traffic, everyone's going to be traveling on the roads this time of year..."

"Harley... Sweetie, I don't sit in traffic, I cause traffic." He chuckled, pinching her cheek. "Save me some pancakes."

Harley waved him off as he slipped on his jacket and made his way down to the car. As soon as he put his keys in the ignition, Christmas songs came blaring out of the radio at top volume. He cringed and tried desperately to turn it off.

"Piece of shit!" He yelled, pounding his fist against the stereo. When the volume control didn't respond. Joker soon realised that it wasn't the radio projecting out the foul festive music, it was in fact a CD that had been strategically rammed into the audio slot.

He punched the eject button a few times, hitting the skip button along with a few others. The songs jerked against his violence and before he knew it, his signature purple Lamborghini was playing 'Santa Baby." On repeat, at top volume.

He cursed, banging his head on the steering wheel, triggering the car horn at the same time.

"HARLEEEEEEY!" He yelled.

Harley, who was still in the kitchen could hear all the commotion that was happening down in the private garage. She laughed when he screamed her name. Harley quickly popped a piece of pancake batter in her mouth and made her way down to him, making sure to take her sweet, sweet time.

When she walked in on him, his head was flat against the steering wheel making the car horn blare out on repeat.

"What's wrong Daddy?" Harley asked with a slight smirk.

Joker growled, but didn't take his head off the wheel as he spoke. "If this is your doing... I will end your life."

"Me?" Harley feigned hurt.

"Yes, you." He snapped.

"Puddin'... It's Christmas, what do you expect? Gotham FM to be playing bump and grind or somethin'?" She giggled.

Joker rolled his head off the wheel, allowing the piercing nose of the horn to stop. "You think I don't know what your game is huh? Well, newsflash Harley-doll, it ain't gunna work. And if I find out this was you, this will be the last non-Christmas or any Christmas that you're ever gunna have!" He shouted.

Harley turned her back on him, trying to bite back a smile.

"Don't you walk away from me when I'm talking to you, you little brat!" Joker barked.

She continued to saunter away, ignoring his desperate attempts to grab her attention.

Resigning himself to the fact that the music wasn't going to stop, the Joker reluctantly pulled out of the garage and made his way over to his club for an impromptu meeting. As soon as he pulled up, the valet that usually took his keys, tired to swallow laughter when he saw J cruise in with a look that could kill.

He stepped out and shoved the keys into the young man's hand. "Fix it." Joker ordered. "Or the next thing you'll be hearing is sound of my fist making contact with your face." He threatened marching off into the club, Leaving the boy sacred and slightly amused.

J stormed into the club, with footsteps that could create earthquakes. Once he was inside his eyes locked on to the multi coloured lights that were strung up around the room, along with paper garlands.

A rage induced fit fell over the Clown and he ripped them from the wall, causing all the surrounding staff to quickly scurry off into different directions.

"FROST!" The Joker yelled angrily.

As if by magic, Jonny suddenly appeared, wearing an uncharacteristically bright smile on his face, but as soon as his saw Joker's annoyed one, it dropped.

"Something wrong Boss?" He asked.

"What-" J shoved the handful of lights and garlands into his chest. "-The fuck is all this?"

Frost clutched the decorations tightly. "It's the Christmas party Boss, we're just having a little gathering before the big day... We did invite you and Harl-"

Joker interrupted him instantly. "Christmas Party? Did I say you could celebrate this fraud of a holiday, hm?"

"Harley said-."

"I don't give a fuck what that air headed bimbo said. She get's some Hyenas and now she thinks she the Boss... She's not, I am! And you take my orders from me, and me only! And did not authorise this!" He shouted. "Take it down! I have a reputation to uphold and I will not have cheap, paper crap hanging off these walls!"

Jonny didn't even attempt to argue with him and nodded his head. "Sorry Boss. I'll get the girls to take it down."

"You better..." He snapped and pointed his finger in his direction. "I need you to round up the boys... We're going for a little drive."

* * *

 **Thank you so much for the amazing response to this story! Love you!**

 **\- Mabel**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! 1 week till Christmas! ENJOY!**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 3**

"Where are we going Boss?" Jonny asked while driving down the back streets of Gotham.

"Stop with the questions Frost." J snapped, clutching his phone tightly.

"Sorry Boss, I just meant, if I know where we're headed I can take a quick route, instead of hitting the holiday traffic." Frost explained, coming to a sudden stop.

Joker lifted his head from his phone and growled. Cars were lined up for miles and miles. "Damnit."

"I can ask one of the boys to bring your Lambo up, people ill quickly move outta the way." Jonny shrugged, looking over at his Boss.

"No." Joker snapped, remembering the state the vehicle was in. "If I wanted to use the car, I would've."

Frost rolled his eyes discreetly. Looking back on the traffic, the tension inside the SUV quickly increased. Joker had demanded that the radio be turned off due to the seasonal music and since J was obviously not in the mood for small talk, this ride was just going to get worse.

After about 20 minutes of pure silence, other than J's growling. Joker finally spoke. "What's the appeal?" He asked.

"Err...Boss?"

"Christmas... tHE pointless, expensive, fake holiday that everyone seems to loose their minds over..." Joker said, gesturing towards the traffic.

"It's just nice to be able to spoil your family, I guess... I mean.. I ain't got no family, but I like spending it with people I... People I can tolerate. It's nice to have a break, a laugh and relax for just one day." Jonny glanced over at him. "You get these people, born with a silver spoon in their mouths, money and gifts are a statement to them... But ordinary folk, like the ones jamming us in fucking traffic, well they just want to show each other a bit of appreciation y'know? They can't afford to give each other stuff throughout the year, so they wait till Christmas. It's not even about the presents, I just like to chill on the couch with a bottle of beer knowing that everyone I work with, including you and Harls are enjoying the one day a year were you can just focus on each other and not the world. The one day where everyone can just relax."

Frost tapped his palms on the steering wheel, loosing himself in the thought of a nice cold beer, planted in front of the TV watching the Christmas Carol. "Getting stuff is nice, don't get me wrong... But I just like a good old simple film and booze. That's how I enjoy my day anyway Boss."

Joker rolled his eyes and nodded. "Like, say... Charlie Chaplin?"

"Yes I guess, whatever you want. Their ain't no rules, just do what you want, when you want." He shrugged. Jonny turned fully to Joker and smiled. "Boss Lady trying to convert you is she?"

"Don't call her that, you know I hate it when you call her that." J growled. "She won't let it drop and I know she's up to something. I know that girl inside and out... And so help me, If I come home and the house is decorated. The next thing she'll be planning will be her own funeral."

"I don't mean to stick my nose in Boss, but what harm could one day do? It'll keep her quiet and happy, and that will last longer than a day." Frost said. "Besides, she told me the presents she was gunna get you, and boy, would I kill for those.." He paused for a moment and stuttered out his next words. "Though, just to clarify, some of the stuff she has planed.. I would not want that... Not from Harley at least.. I mean... Err... You'd enjoy it, but not me, definitely not me."

Joker's face eased into a grin when he realised what Jonny was talking about. "The little minx.."

"She might go about it in the wrong way, but she's got good intentions..." Jonny added.

J shot him a glare. "Alright, that's enough of the 'advice' Frost."

Another moment of awkward silence passed dover them both.

"So were are we headed?" Jonny asked again.

Joker moaned and craned his neck to one side. "Change of plan... Gotham Museum."

Frost nodded with a determined glint in his eyes, he pulled the car into reverse and crept out of the traffic jam. "Sure thing Boss."

* * *

Joker was gone for hours. Longer than Harley had predicted, but she wasn't complaining, after all, she had 6 boxes freshly delivered to her from her online purchases this morning.

Harley grabbed a knife from the kitchen counter and pierced the first box open. Her eyes widened in pure joy when she saw the vibrant colours of red, gold, green and purple.

Her hands dived into the box and pulled out streamers, tinsel and garlands. "Oh boys!" She cried "If this doesn't get Daddy to change his mind, I don't know what will!"

The two Hyena pups exchanged concerned looks to one another in response. She giggled and patted them both on the head. "I knEw you'd agree!"

Harley continued to gasp in excitement as she ripped open the other boxes. She held up two tiny Christmas themed jumpers and held them up proudly to Bud and Lou.

"C'mere babies.." She called, preparing to tackle them to the ground just so they could wear the doggy sweaters that she had brought them. After wrestling with their arms and legs, she stood back at her two kiddies, and looked at them adoringly.

"Let me get me camera!" Harley pulled out her phone and pulled them close to her body, snapping a picture of the pups smacking both her cheeks with their big tongues.

"Awh when Daddy sees you both, he'll just love it!" She beamed. "Maybe, I'll print this out huh?" Harley told them. "For the album."

Now with the radio on full blast, Harley was dancing and singing around the living room ,attaching streamers to the ceiling along with purple and gold garlands. After moving the Christmas tree and redecorating it 3 times, she was finally happy with it. The house looked perfect, like a little Santa's grotto.

She stood proudly with her hand on her hips. "We did good." Harley glanced at the two pups, who were covered in sticky tape and fake snow.

Hours later, Harley was sitting on the floor, struggling to keep her eyes open as she wrapped more presents. Bud and Lou had abandoned the festivities and were curled up around each other on the couch. The radio played soft classic Christmas tunes, which did not help Harley's battle with sleep.

Wanting to make this a special day for him, she tied every present with a purple ribbon, and sprayed her perfume over the paper. She squealed in delight when she saw how many she had managed to get through. But there was still one last gift to wrap.

Placing a small, shallow black box in the middle of the holly patterned paper, Harley wrote a small note to attach to the package.

 _To my Puddin',_

 _A gift to you, to give to me and in return I'll give it right back..._

 _Harley x_

"Urgh." She groaned. "I shoulda just asked Nygma for a riddle." Harley shrugged it of and stretched her arm behind her neck and yawned. She glanced over at her two sleeping pups and smiled over at them. "Time to wrap this up boys," She giggled. "Mamma's getting tired."

Sitting back down on the sofa, Harley drifted off too sleep just as the soothing music stopped and a news report flooded in but a live feed, straight outside Gotham Museum with reports of a heist...

* * *

Later that evening, the Joker slipped through the front door, holding a burlap sack in his right hand. being carful not to knock it against the door or any other hard surface.

He raised his head to look down the corridor to see that there wasn't a single light on in the house, apart from the gently flicker of candles coming from the living room.

Curious, he placed the sack gently on the ground and tip toed towards the door, he pushed it open slowly and was shocked by the sight he saw in front of him.

"Oh Harley, Harley, Harley." He muttered quietly seeing a huge Christmas tree that crunched against the ceiling was sitting proudly in the corner of the room, decorated with red and blue baubles and purple tinsel, along with subtle yellow fairy lights that twinkled within the green branches.

Glitter based candles filled every corner of the house, reflecting off the celling decorations, all coloured in shiny green and gold. Joker remained quite and moved around the room, admiring the different coloured jewels that decorated the mantel piece.

The urge to rip it all down was dulled slightly when he saw a bundle of fur and human twisted together on the sofa. He couldn't tell were one body began and the other ended, but what he did see was Harley's face sleeping soundly, with pieces of tinsel sticking out of her hair and glitter smeared across her forehead. Bud was curled tightly under her arm, resting his fuzzy head on her chest, dribbling onto her shirt, while Lou was tangled around her feet, also dribbling like an old aged pensioner.

He felt a sickening warmness in his chest. "Harley?" He whispered quietly, kneeling down to her level. "Baby, you gotta move or you'll morph into a Hyena."

"Mhm." She mumbled, arching her back.

Joker looked over her body, trying to figure out a way of picking her up without waking the hounds. "Harley, c'mon baby, you can't sleep down here."

Her eyelids twitched slightly before they slowly peeped open. "J, is that you?" She asked, trying to move her arm.

"Who'd you think it is? Another delivery man? God knows you've probably seen your fair share today." He growled. "Get up Harls, you got a lot of explaining to do."

"I did it for you." She said, breaking into a yawn. Her eyes drifted off, being dragged down into the abyss of sleep. "Everything I do is for-"

Her head dropped to the side and sleep took her once more. Joker rolled his eyes and wormed his arms underneath her body, hooking his left arm under her knees and his right hand across her back. He slowly lifted her, allowing the mutts to fall back onto the sofa without waking them.

Once Harley was free from her dog cage, he propped her up in his arms and felt her tiny warm hands wrap around his neck, she nuzzled her face into his neck and breathed softly.

"Just to make you fully aware, I'm burning all this stuff tomorrow. Along with your body." He told her firmly.

"Okay." She mumbled, inhaling his musky cologne.

Realising that tomorrow was in fact going to be Christmas day, J sighed and rolled his jaw in frustration. "Stupid holiday." He muttered to himself.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed it, another chapter is currently in the works!**

 **\- Mabel x**


	4. Chapter 4

**2 more days!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4.**

Harley woke to the smell of a pot of coffee, she shifted under the sheets and stretched her arms out. To her surprise, the bed next to her was stone cold empty. Her heart suddenly sunk, it was Christmas day and J wasn't even home, or if he was, he had probably ripped down all the decorations.

Harley curled back under the sheets, maybe if she was asleep through the duration of the day, she wouldn't have to deal with him shouting at her.

Harley tossed and turned for a few minutes then gave up on that idea. Perhaps he hadn't noticed the multi coloured streamers and ginormous tree? He was generally quite ignorant in regards to domestic stuff.

Oh, who was she kidding? He definitely saw it.

She suddenly heard the sound of children laughing and playing. Pulling herself out of her thoughts, Harley slipped out of the bed and made her way over to the balcony door. She dragged back the curtains and gasped when she saw light flickers of snow floating in the air.

She grabbed the handles and pulled the doors wide open. Ignoring the cold, she stepped out and marvelled at the dancing white specks in front of her eyes.

In all the Christmas she had witnessed, snow had never fallen on December 25th.

Children were playing in the streets, dragging their parent outside in their flannel pyjamas to witness snow on Christmas day. Harley chuckled lightly to herself when she felt the cold white substance hit her knuckles.

In this moment she could truly enjoy Christmas, regardless to whether J was going to cancel it or not. These few minutes alone enjoying the feel of wet snowflakes kiss her skin were hers. And nobody else could spoil that.

"You'll catch your death out here." A soft purring voice spoke. Joker stood in the door way looking at the curvy blonde woman wearing only a long red silk nightdress. The memory of the night before flooded through his mind. Joker grinned when he saw her shiver slightly under the gentle touch of snow.

Harley ignored him, not on purpose, but she was just too consumed in the beauty of Gotham under a white blanket. Joker approached her, pulling off his own jacket and placing it over her shoulders. She smiled when she felt the warm fabric touch her icy skin.

Breaking out of her trance, she turned to face the Joker. Harley was expecting him to instantly lash out, accusing her of going behind his back and disobeying his rules. But to her surprise, instead he stood there with a sly grin on his face when he saw a cold blush spread across her cheeks.

"Are you mad?" Harley asked tentatively.

Joker placed his hand under her chin and raised her face up to meet his. "Oh, I'm mad."

"I'm sorry Daddy, I just wanted today to be special and... I thought if I made all the effort you might be more... Well... Persuaded?" She stuttered, partly shivering.

He placed both of his deliciously warm hands either side of her face. "Your lips are turning blue." J said, dusting his thumb over them.

He then pulled her face forward, planting a frim but sweet kiss on her lips. Harley moaned, letting the jacket fall of her shoulders, she wrapped her arms around the Joker's neck and buried her hands into his hair.

Heat spread through her body like wild fire. Joker backed her up against the railing, taking her mouth more passionately than before. Harley leant backwards, feeling the bitter wind flap against her silk nightdress.

Her tousled blue and pink hair swayed against the current, ticking J's eyelids as he moved forward, leaning the top half of her body over the railings.

"I could drop you, y'know." He told her, mumbling the words into her lips.

"Would you?" She asked, feeling the bitter cold snap against her spine.

"I want too... But it's terribly impolite to kill someone who's brought you presents."

"Who says they're for you?" She joked, now holding his shoulders in a vice grip.

"Mmmm..." He moaned. "The massive word 'Puddin' scribbled all over the wrapping paper kinda gave it away."

Harley laughed, feeling his own chuckles release onto the skin on her neck. She tilted her head back, inhaling the fresh winter air.

"Unless you want me to drop you?" He asked.

"Naa.." She giggled. "You'd miss me too much."

"Wouldn't." Joker snapped. Still holding her waist, he pushed her slightly, pretending to let her go. Harley gasped and clung to him tighter. A deep rumbling laugh escaped his throat and he pulled her upright suddenly, letting her stumble back into his arms. He leant into her ear and let his breath drip like honey across her cold, pale flesh.

"Now... What ya' get me?" He purred.

"Can't remember.." She shrugged, not being able to keep a straight face.

Joker grabbed her by the hand and roughly pulled her back into the bedroom. He was just about to drag her down the stairs, but she pulled back to stop him.

"Wait, wait," Harley protested.

"What!?" He grunted in annoyance.

"How do I know this ain't just a trick, a cruel joke to teach me a lesson." Harley said with a sad look in her eyes. "What if I go downstairs and everything I've done for you is ruined."

Joker sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically. "Because I say it's not, now c'mon."

"No, no, you don't change your mind about thing this quickly. You were adamant that we weren't having a Christmas, now suddenly that's all changed?" Harley felt a tear dash down her cheek.

"Don't you dare start crying." Joker groaned. "Fine, you want the truth? I ain't changed my mind, this holiday is just as pathetic and pointless as its ever been. Today is just a normal day, a day off even. Just you and me, not bats, not henchmen and no work."

A smile spread across Harley's face. "Just you and me?"

"Yes." He snapped. "You got a problem with that?"

She shook her head from side to side. "Just you and me..." She repeated.

"Plus presents." J retorted.

Harley laughed, she took hold of his hand once more and surrendered to him. J proceeded to drag her down the stairs, nearly causing them to trip up twice. Once they were by the door way to the lounge, he stopped her suddenly.

"I didn't get you anything." He said, rather abruptly.

Harley smiled and rubbed her thumb over his cheek. "I've got everything I need."

J wondered if he should say something similar back, but declined the notion. He was a sucker for gits. "C'mon." He said, dragging her through the door, but he was soon knocked off balance when the two Hyena pups pushed past him to tackle Harley.

She shrieked in surprise when her back hit the ground and two wet, thick tongues covered her face. Harley giggled madly, trying to get them off her.

"Morning babies!" She managed to scramble into a seating position. "Merry Christmas!"

J rolled his eyes, watching Harley go to mush over the two mangy rats. "Harley!" He yelled.

"Oh sorry Pud!" She apologised. Harley quickly rushed to his side and pulled out an envelope from the mantle piece. "I err... Well, I wanted to give you this before your presents.. It's okay if you don't like it..." She stuttered. Harley reluctantly shoved the purple metallic envelope into his hand.

Joker didn't care much for cards but he opened it anyway. Ripping off the thin paper, he pulled out the thick card.

On the front was a picture of Harley with no make up and her hair and absolute mess, being kissed by none other than Bud and Lou, who were wearing chunky knitted Christmas jumpers.

Harley bit her lip nervously, with each aching second of his silence, she regretted even giving it to him. "It was a stupid idea... I'm sorry... I'll just throw it away." She reached out to grab it back from him, but he jerked away.

He flipped the card open to see Harley's smooth italic writing against the paper.

 _Puddin',_

 _Merry Christmas!_

 _The first of many that I hope I get to spend with you._

 _You're the love of my life and I hope today is as special as you make me feel._

 _Yours unconditionally,_

 _Harley, Bud and Lou x_

Underneath the writing were two muddy paw prints. He chuckled at the image of Harley tackling them to the ground just to get the perfect print.

"Say something?" Harley begged, suddenly feeling insecure. "Maybe I shoulda' put some make up on.." She muttered to herself.

J's ears pricked up at her incoherent rambling. He turned to her and placed the card down, but open on the mantel piece. He slid his hands to her waist and pulled her close. "Where did you get those impossibly repulsive jumpers?" Joker asked, smiling at her.

Harley sighed in relief. "Online," She shrugged. "Ya' never truly know what it's gunna be like until it arrives."

Joker laughed. "Bit like you then? I didn't know what I was getting until you arrived in my therapy room."

"Ditto." Harley grinned back, pulling her arms up around his neck. He kissed her then, lightly but holding so much passion. Her arm tightened around him when she felt his tongue propping her mouth. She gave him entrance and moaned as her made contact.

Joker quickly drew away. "So what's next?" He asked, eyeing up a shallow looking box.

Harley giggled and lead him towards the tree. He may not be completely convinced, but the day had just begun and she had a pretty good feeling that he was going to be coming round to her festive plans eventually...

* * *

 **THE BOX...**


	5. Chapter 5

**IT'S NEARLY CHRISTMAS!**

* * *

"No!" Harley shrieked. "That one's for later!" She reclaimed the box and set it back down under the tree. The Joker stuck his tongue out at her and made a grab for another item.

Within moments the floor was littered with scraps of wrapping paper, ribbons and all manner of packaging. He had truly been spoilt.

Joker sat on the couch, looking smugly over his new toys. A new set of knife sharpers, gun holster, and a whole 3 months worth supply of hair gel were just a few items that he had received.

His favourite of course being the new pair of Italian, handmade leather shoes which fit him like a glove. "Colour me impressed Harls." He said, snapping his heels together like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.

Harley giggled. "Glad you like them Pud, I had to guess your measurements. You've got pretty big feet." She winked.

Joker flashed her a devilish grin. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, the biggest I've ever seen." Harley stalked towards him. He couldn't help but notice the way the silk night dress clung to her every movement. "Do you want your last present now?" She asked, nodding her head at the box laying under the tree, barley visible from all the paper spread across the floor.

His eyes lit up with excitement and he smile stretched widely. He scurried to the tree like a 5 year old boy and dived to grab it. Once it was in his grip he shook it roughly.

Ideas came rushing through his head... Maybe it was a pair of Batman socks that he had secretly desired since his first encounter with the bat, or maybe it was a box of freshly rolled cigars, or perhaps even a set of car keys... The box was relatively small so perhaps it lead to a bigger gift?

"You gotta read the note first." She told him with a smirk.

Joker rolled his eyes. "Take all the fun out of a surprise Harls."

"It won't ruin it, but you will if you don't read it!" She snapped anxiously.

"Fine." His eyes skimmed over her words. "Blah, blah, blah, A gift you, to give to me, blah, blah, I'll give you it right back.." Joker looked up at her. "What the devil is that supposed to mean!?" He demanded.

Harley frowned. "It was meant to be cute..."

"Not cute, just concerning that you can't string a proper sentence together..." He joked.

Within seconds, Harley had grown embarrassed and snatched the box from his hand. "Fine, if you're going to be an ass, then you don't get to have the present."

Joker growled and lunged towards her, trying to reclaim the gift. "Give it here!"

"No!" She shouted. "I've gone to all this effort for you, expecting nothing in return and you can't even be grateful!"

J paused at her words, confused as to why her mood had done a complete 180. "It was just a joke." He told her. "What's wrong with you all of a sudden?"

"Nothing, I just wanted today to be perfect." Harley mumbled, flopping down on the sofa.

"What makes you think it isn't?" Joker asked, taking a seat next to her.

She shrugged in response. "I dunno."

"Yes you do. Don't lie to me Harley, I hate liars." He warned.

"I guess I just wanted to make it feel like it did when I was a kid, y'know all the excitement. Mum and Dad arguing in the kitchen because for the fifth year running the Turkey won't fit in the oven. The warm homemade mince pies that would always sit on the coffee table, but I wasn't allowed to eat them before lunch because mum would always say 'You'll spoil your meal Harleen.'... I guess I just wanted to recreate a little bit of it for myself, for you, for us." She told him, with tears swimming in her eyes.

Joker took her hands in his. He just thought that she'd wanted to celebrate Christmas to receive presents, but that wasn't the case at all.. Instead it was the opposite. "Don't cry on me Harley, you know I can't stand it." He said, wiping away her tears.

"Sorry." She smiled, feeling his fingers on her wet cheeks.

"It ain't gunna be the same, you're not Harleen anymore.." He sighed and rolled his eyes. "But if it means that much... I will try and enjoy Christmas with you." J shuddered at his own words.

"Really?" Harley squeezed his hands tightly.

"I said I'll try. I make no promises." Joker warned firmly.

Harley nodded and planted a deep wet kiss onto the side of his face. She felt his cheekbones rise into a grin. Joker suddenly leapt to his feet and walked towards the stereo in the corner of the room.

"What are you doin'?" Harley asked, brushing away stray tears with the back of her hand.

"I can't listen to your girly sobs, so music will have to drown it out." He smiled, switching on the play button. Whilst waiting for the stereo to fizz to life, Joker walked over to her and extended his hand.

She placed her hand in his delicately and was gently hauled to her feet. Joker dragged her over to the centre of the lounge, hearing her bare feet crunch against the wrapping paper.

A gasp escaped Harley's lips when she was suddenly pulled into his hard, frim chest. Both of the Joker's hands found the curve of her waist and just as the humming of soft, vintage music began to play, he started to sway, moving her body in rhythm with his.

Her heart melted all at once. The Joker was dancing with her while the sound of Bing Crosby's White Christmas played softly in the background.

"Ah, the classics... Never can quite beat them can you Harl?" He said, lightly humming along to the tune.

"Definitely not." She replied, watching his face relax under the soft melody and the strong hypnotic voice. "I'm sorry I flaked out on you just now.. No pun intended." She giggled looking at the snow outside the window.

Joker shrugged. "Your mind jumbled things up sometimes, different orders of events, lost thoughts coming back after years of cloudiness... But you can't be stuck in the past anymore, it's no good for anyone, no use thinking about things that have been and gone. You gotta think fresh, think about the future... Future chaos." He smirked.

"I know... I will." Harley placed her head in the crook of his neck and just for a moment she could forget everything and just savour the feeling of his arms around her, pulling her tighter against his chest.

The soft tune slowly ended, but they continued to sway to a silent beat. Suddenly the sound of a piano came into focus and Harley grinned, recognising the tune.

Joker groaned. "Frankie goes to Hollywood... Oh God no."

Harley laughed. "I love this song! C'mon dance with me some more?"

The Joker cringed as the lyrics to 'The power of love' played out. He really did hate this song. He tried to move his body along with hers again, but his mind stopped him from doing so. "Nope, sorry kid, this shit ain't gunna fly." He told her, pushing away.

"Oh.." Harley pouted, she looked to the pups who were mesmerised by their movements. "Daddy's allergic to the L word."

The Hyenas stood sharply and padded over to Harley, she extended her arms and crouch down. "You wanna dance with Mummy instead?"

They let out a strangling laugh and both hopped up, placing their paws on her shoulders. Harley began to gently move her body from side to side, giggling along with them.

She sang along to the enchanting tune, but stopped suddenly when she looked up at the Joker.. Who was now holding his phone in the air, recording the whole thing.

"You better not be videoing this!" She shrieked, giving him a playful glare.

"Just insurance... If you leave me, I can feed this through to all the T.V channels in Gotham..." Joker laughed, zooming in slightly.

"That a threat Mistah?" She scolded him playfully.

"You'll get plenty of those once the public knows how bad you are at singing!" He chuckled, moving round to get a better angle.

Harley feigned hurt and gasped. "You would do that? To me?"

"No question." He told her nochantly.

"Well.. If that's how you wanna play things then.." She paused for a moment, allowing a dark smile to spread across her features. "I'm just going to have to stop you."

Within seconds, Harley leapt of the floor and jumped on the Joker, throwing him back to the ground. The phone he was holding slipped out of his grip and skidded across the floor away from him. Harley looked up, seeing her prize within reaching distance.

Joker caught on to her game and whispered. "Oh no you don't." He scrambled to his knees and crawled over to the phone. But he was suddenly wrenched backwards by a pair of snarling teeth clutching onto his trouser leg.

Harley glanced back and laughed. "Good going Lou!"

Struggled against the strong jaw of the beast holding him captive, and for the first time he didn't mean it in regards to Harley.

"Let go you flea bitten Mutt!" He growled. Lou however didn't listen, he just continued to pull at his trouser leg.

Harley laughed. Now clutching the phone in her hand, she snapped a picture of the Joker rolling around on the floor.

"Don't you dare-" He yelled, shielding his yes as the flash of the camera blinded him. Joker growled, pulling his hand out, he wrapped his fingers around her ankle and dragged her harshly to the ground.

A loud thump was heard before her groan of pain, Harley arched her back when she felt her spine whack against the wooden flooring. "Fuck." She muttered, feeling her head pulse wildly.

"Head hurt?" He mocked, pulling her closer until he was able to climb on top of her. Lou released his leg to rush to Harley's aid alongside Bud.

She shushed them away, pinching her eyes shut tightly. "J, I think you broke something..." She whimpered.

Joker growled. "Don't get my hopes up only to dash them Harl."

"I'm serious J..."

"Oh boo-hoo Harley.." He stopped teasing when he saw her eyes flutter shut, he patted her face harshly trying to get her to wake. "Harley?"

Suddenly hiccupped giggles escaped her lips and she rolled him quickly over to his back. Pinning the Joker down while laughing. Harley straddled his chest and leant forward, brushing her lips against his. "I got you good. Didn't I?"

J sniggered. "I warned you not to get my hopes up." His grabbed her waist and flipped her over. Harley then wrapped her legs round his hips, but when she did, she felt something hard between them.

She raised a brow and gave Joker an audacious look. "Is that a present in your pocket?"

He slowly grinded into her, watching her brow furrow and her mouth open slightly. "That all depends... Have you been a good girl this year?"

Harley gasped when she felt his warm tattooed hand travel it's way up her silk clad thigh. "Yes Daddy...But I can be a bad one for you.."

Joker seemed to like her answer because the purrs that came out of his throat sent vibrations through her body. He chuckled at her desperation and thrust up, earning a greedy moan from her.

He leant down to tease her with a kiss, but when Harley raised her head to meet him, he grabbed her by the neck and shoved her back down to the ground. "No sugar until I've opened the box." He told her in a frightening manner.

Harley pouted. Before she could even give him a cunning retort, Joker had leapt off her and scurried over to the box. He tore off the ribbon and prepared to open it. Harley sat upright, watching him with nervous eyes as he lifted the lid gently, taking all the time in the world just to taunt her.

Raising the lid of further, Joker's eyes widened at the sight in front of him. Harley bit her lip in anticipation when she saw his lips stretch into the most deliciously dark, yet sexy smile.

"Bad, bad girl..." He purred, training his blue, lust filled eyes onto hers.

* * *

 **The next chapter will be your last! Hope you've enjoyed this little mini shot!**

 **Merry Christmas!**

 **-Mabel x**


	6. Chapter 6

**Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you have an amazing day!**

 _ ***Mabel's warning of smut below***_

* * *

After being instructed to give the gift back to Harley, the Joker sat on the foot of the bed, tapping his new shoes together in excitement, oh this girl had truly spoilt him rotten today...

Whilst waiting for her to remerge, his mind wandered to the burlap sack that he had secretly stashed under the bed. His mind way toying with the idea of giving it to her and then not.

If he did surrender to the notion of giving a gift, it would mean that she had one, beaten him down into accepting Christmas, but if he didn't give it to her, he was the one in victory.

He had gone to a lot of effort to get it, risking spending this season behind bars just to pacify her need for December 25th.

The most sort out Jewel in the whole of Gotham, perhaps even the world was sitting in a velvet box, suffocating inside a bag.

"It would be a waste." He muttered quietly, thinking about how better it would look on her than on display back at the museum. "It might shut her up for a few weeks..."

Joker reached down, hooking his arm under the bedframe and pulled out the sack. His eyes darted to the bathroom doorway, hoping to god that Harley wouldn't appear.

He ran the tips of his fingers over the leather case, still debating the fate of the Jewel inside.

"Puddin'! I'm ready, close your eyes!" She yelled behind the closed door.

J panicked, he kicked the bag back under the bed and stuffed the Jewel inbetween the bedsheets.

"Hurry up, I'm loosing the will to live." He growled.

"Don't go getting my hopes up Pud," She retorted, remembering his earlier words. The bathroom door unlatched and slowly opened. Joker pinched his eyes shit tightly, but he could keep them closed forever. He peaked them open just as Harley slipped through the door.

She stood, leaning against the frame, wearing the expensive, deep red lace lingerie that had blessed the forbidden box. The material was so flush against her skin, J was more than confident that she had had it handmade just for her.

Sheer stockings were accompanied by a pair of patent red stilettos. Her hair was tousled down past her shoulders and she was twirling around two pairs of heavy, solid gold handcuffs between her fingers.

"I'm ready for my present now." She whispered seductively, trailing her free hand over her velvet garter belt.

Joker didn't say anything, expect a deep rumble that spread through his entire body and left his throat. He pointed his index finger at her, beckoning her closer.

Swaying her hips and not taking her eyes off the cold ones that stared back, Harley walked forward, inching herself closer and closer.

Standing over him now, Joker's rough callous hands instantly found her hips and he pulled her forward. "What a treat." He purred, dusting the contrast of the lace and velvet between his fingers.

"I though you deserved one since you've had to put up with me for a whole year." She murmured, running her hands up his arms to his neck. Harley then suddenly pushed him back, letting him fall onto the soft sheets. She quickly climbed over him, locking his torso between her thighs.

She dangled the handcuffs in the air, giving him a taunting smile. "Wanna play?"

Joker grinned, flashing his grill. But before he could answer, he felt the something dig harshly into his back. Remembering what is was, his smile fell.

"You don't want to play?" She asked, seeing his face change into one of conflict.

Joker sat up abruptly, nearly knocking her off the bed. "Oh Doll, with you dressed like that? I'd have to be crazy." He released her hip with one hand and moved it to the space behind his back, when he felt the hard object, he pulled it forward and examined it, still wondering what to do.

"What's that?" She asked, trying to get comfortable on his lap.

He looked up at her, seeing her eyes sparkle like the Jewel he'd obtained for her. "It's for you." He said without thinking. Joker pushed it into her hands.

"Me?"

"Yeah, who else?" He snapped.

Harley smiled. "Well... What is it?"

"Open it and find out. Christ," He tutted, shaking his head.

She glanced back down at the box and without wasting a second, she flicked the lid open. Harley was speechless. "You... You got me?...Wow."

The Joker took her stuttered words as a good thing and took the box from her before she had a heart attack.

"Keep still." J told her, pulling the item out of the box. He unclasped the two ends and placed them in either hand. Joker slip his fingers up to her neck and fastened it around her unmarked skin. He traced the silver chain down to her collarbone until he reached the huge Harlequin diamond that hung on the end.

"I had it lying around the place for a while." He shrugged. "It took up too much space in the safe, so you might as well have it."

She clutched it tightly, feeling the weight of it sit heavy on her chest. "Thank you Puddin'.."

"It's not a present." J retorted. "Just needed to free up some space, y'know?"

"Yeah.. I know." Harley leant forward and kissed him. She pressed her body up against his and gently pushed him back down against the mattress when his tongue slipped between her lips.

J's hands pulled her hips closer to his. Moving her body teasingly, creating friction between them both. His nails dug painfully into her flesh, leaving red welts in his path.

Harley was causing just as much destruction in his hair, using her fingers to prod and pull at his green locks. Joker felt around the bed for the handcuffs and while she was taking his mouth hotly.

He then snapped them around her wrists. Before she could react. J slammed her back against the soft fabric that covered their bed and fastened the loose ends of her cuffs to the headboard. She gasped, feeling the restriction against her hands.

Without her to do it, Joker climbed between her legs and stripped himself of his shirt. Looking directly into her eyes, watching them fill will a burning desire. His muscles moved tantalisingly under his perfectly pale inked skin. She could get drunk form just one look at him. She so badly wanted to grab is forearms, that were decorated with tensed veins under the strain of holding his body over hers.

Harley squeezed her thighs together, hoping that he didn't notice. She arched her back trying to create more movement, but as soon as she did, he pressed her back down into the mattress.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. If you can't be patient, you won't get your present." He scolded, pressing his palms into her hipbones.

Harley whimpered and nodded her head up and down. "Sorry Daddy."

"Good girl." He purred. Joker ran his hands down her legs feeling the change in texture from her skin, to the sheer stockings that covered them. "I like these."

"I like these too." He mentioned, brushing the velvet on her garter belt to a different direction, making the colour change to a slight darker shade.

"For you Daddy." Harley whispered.

Joker stopped moving and climbed further up her body, making sure she felt the constriction in his trousers by the base of her thighs. "What do you want?"

"I want you Puddin'."

"Do you want Daddy to kiss you?" He asked, teasing her to beg.

"Yes." She breathed.

"Like this?" He asked. Joker bumped his lips over her face, still not making contact. He rubbed his ruby lips over every inch of her. Opening his mouth, he began to make heavy breaths across the features of her face. Harley closed her eyes, savouring the feeling.

He then trailed his mouth down to her neck. Joker sunk his silver grill into her thin, tender flesh making her jump and moan in surprise. But he still didn't kiss her.

The bites were torturous, nipping her skin between his journey down her neck to her collarbone and then to her lace covered breasts. Usually he would of ripped off any material that covered her body, but this time was different. The red stood proudly against the her white skin, he'd always enjoyed that colour on her... Preferably in liquid form.

"Kiss me." Harley begged, tightening her hands around the cuffs. "Please.."

Joker laughed at the distress in her face. He moved back up to her face and placed his warm lips against hers, stroking his tongue along her mouth, causing her to moan loudly into his lips. While he kissed her, Harley felt this hands briefly brush her thighs and then the feeling of his cold leather belt followed.

After ridding himself of his belt, Joker then unfastened his zip. He couldn't help but notice how much Harley's breath had sped up just from this movement alone.

"Please Daddy, I want you.." She whimpered, raising her hips up to his. Joker grabbed her waist and scooted her closer, making the restriction on her cuffs increase. She gasped in pain.

"How much? How much do you want me?" Joker asked, trailing his fingers near the place she so desperately wanted to be touched.

Harley groaned and arched her back further. "So much." She whimpered. "I need you."

"You need me?" He mocked.

"It hurts how much I need you." Harley confessed, squeezing her eyes shut as if she could feel the physical pain.

J raised her hips up, allowing him to quickly remove his trousers and boxers. He settled between her legs and shuddered at the feeling of her skin against his. "But you enjoy the pain, don't you baby?"

"Yes." She gasped, unable to control her wanton desire.

Joker grunted, beginning to tease the place between her thighs. But after a while, the torture effect himself more than he would ever want to admit. "Harley." He grunted moving her panties to one side. He relished in seeing her head roll back in pure pleasure as he entered her fully. Possessing her body like a demon.

Her moans were uncontrollable, the way he made her feel, the way he made her body feel was unlike anything she'd ever experienced. His thrust sped up, hitting that spot inside her every time. His speed was cruel, demanding and beyond comprehension.

Her cries mimicked his breathless grunts, and soon they found themselves on the peak of pleasure. Harley hips circled his, grinding against him.

Feeling that she was close to the edge, J grabbed one of her legs and lifted it slowly over his shoulder, allowing himself to get deeper. Harley cried out feeling her body react to the change in position.

"Joker... I'm gunna.. I'm..." She squeaked, tightening around him. J growled in pleasure, pinching the skin on her thighs in his hands.

Her body dragged him down into the abyss of pleasure. Joker pinched his eyes shut, pushing further into her. Harley cried out repetitively when they ride out their orgasm together. Claiming each others body for their own.

Joker exhaled a deep breath and collapsed on top of her. His sweaty body clinging to hers in the most intoxicating way. He looked up at her, seeing her face still ride out the aftermath of their passion.

"Harley?" He panted.

She weakly rose her hands, feeling her wrists beginning to form bruises. "That was.. Incredible."

He kissed her then, using what little energy he had left. Joker closed his eyes and pulled away, resting his head into the crook of her neck. "You can wear this again next year.." He mumbled, tracing the lace with his hands. Harley giggled, and pressed her lips on his forehead.

* * *

Later that evening, wrapping paper still littered the floor as Harley sat, curled around the Joker on the sofa. Empty Chinese takeaway pots scattered around alongside an empty bottle of wine.

"I knew you'd appreciate Chinese instead of Turkey." Harley said, eating the scraps of noodles left in one of the containers.

"Shut up," Joker growled. "I'm trying to watch," He said pointing at the T.V screen.

"Sorry Pud," She giggled. Harley settled back into his body and rested her head on his chest, hearing the beating of his heart in one ear and comical music in the other. Her eyelids dropped under the gentle flickers of Charlie Chaplin projected onto the screen.

Just before sleep could claim her, the Joker whispered in her ear. "Y'know, today wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be..."

"Same time next year?" She asked, with ah hopeful look in her eyes.

"Mmm..." He teased. "Maybe."

 **The End.**

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoyed this silly little mini story! I just want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year if I don't see you sooner! Special mention to my fellow Arkham Inmates... You know who you are ;)**

 **Drafts of my next story in the series is underway, so watch this space!**

 **Love you all so much.**

 **Merry Christmas,**

 **Mabel x**


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